Decided to add an old (and maebey new in the future) collection of writing for people to skim through! Admittedly some of these are.. BAD. And this definitely misses some pieces I have either yet to collect or are too icky to share.. Nevertheless! I hope this timeline of short stories reassures you to start writing too! We all start somewhere, and even today I am not where I'd like to be in writing.. But I'm certainly getting there!.. 11/01/2025 2023/2024: Patter Characters: Paul Hopper, Hatter Hatman Warnings: Suggested moment of slight transphobia/homophobia NOTES: THERE'S TWO VERSIONS. THE 2023 ONE (DRAFT OF AUGUST) AND THE 2024 EDIT. 2024 EDIT It was an ordinary day, every face he passed greeted him with a polite "Good morning" accompanied by a smile. He had no problem returning the same greeting, knowing he was a moment away from settling within the lonesome comfort of his own office. He felt a migraine coming in, the subtle yet constant pounding at his head had him sluggish. An usual Monday. A deep exhale escaped his mouth once he shut the door behind him, the day had barely even begun and he already felt like he should be chewing away at the microwave dinner that was waiting for him at home. His finger pressed the circular button of his desktop computer, yet the screen lit up with nothing to show. He sat back, and stared out the window. The nail of his thumb had already made its way between his teeth, a bad habit he never knew how to get rid of. He had begun wearing nail polish to discourage himself but instead it gave him a bad taste in his mouth. And pretty nails, but he didn’t want anyone to know he thought that. The clock's ticking was the only noise that filled the tranquility of the room. He stared at the people outside the window, far below where he stood. They appeared as small as ants. From where he sat he could pretend to crush them with just his finger, but something about that idea never appealed to him. Even if it was play pretend. His sense of justice never left his blood, even in matters that are innocent in practice. Somehow that strong sense of morality stuck with him in his day-to-day life for every matter at hand.. Well, all matters except-- "PAUL HOPPER." A piercing yell from behind startled him. A familiar voice screeched with nothing but hate, his head darted towards the door within an instant. Hatter Hatman. Hatter had his work phone in the fist of his hand, the second Paul's mouth opened, Hatter would interrupt before he had even had a chance to make a peep. "Does this sound familiar?" He spoke in a quieter tone, but his voice trembled in restraint. With the click of a button, Paul's phone began to ring. A sound that began to bug him a bit during the past few days. However he had to face the consequences for ignoring it. "Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" He asked merely to make his point clear, scolding Paul like one would a child. He stormed further inside the office, the door remained wide open for everyone to hear. Both hands slammed onto the desk, the phone he held made a harsh thud upon impact "Listen here little man." He had glanced down for just a second upon saying 'little'. "You may be daring enough to HAVE SEX WITH A COWORKER." He spoke clear and loud, his head temporarily turned to the door for everyone to hear. "But even such a dimwitted daddy's boy should know to call back his date at LEAST the day after.. HAVING SEX WITH THEM IN A CINEMA PARKING LOT." Again, he made sure everyone could hear. His gaze returned to him, his eyes were narrowed and tense. "But you aren't good with pleasing a lover, are you now?" He said, not even cracking a smile, he was dead serous. His body began to lean forward, overshadowing the man before him. Paul couldn't help but slump further down his seat, his hands had lightly gripped the armrests of his desk chair. His eyes couldn't leave Hatter's. "I got worried about you Paul.. REALLY worried.. So I guessed it wouldn't hurt to give someone's ex-wife a call.. Turns out a certain somebody was just fine." A freakishly polite smile came to his face, as he spoke in a pleased tone "We got talking, matter of fact I had a lovely time catching up with her.. So, we made dinner plans with the family to continue our chat.. I'd almost thank you.. Almost." Hatter let out a breath of relief whilst he put up his hair into his usual bun. His smile gradually became more subtle. It was if he barely cared, this conversation was just a matter he had to deal with. ".. Be better, Paul." He then turned away and walked off. He only turned back to catch Paul had subconsciously moved his gaze down his back. Instead of snapping any further, he just looked at him with terrifying neutrality that scared his gaze away. He let out an offended huff, before walking off to begin his shift. Paul sat there motionless, he could feel the heat on his face. It was unlike him not to defend himself, but to be frank Hatter was correct. Completely right. He has always been this way with this kind of thing. It had never bothered him when he upset the girls back in college, but now.. His heart ached and beat, he could feel himself get tingly in his chest. Hatter Hatman, of all people.. Actually scared him?.. He rubbed his neck, and let out a long trembling breath. His expression was tense, struggling between smiling and frowning. He tried to cover with his hand the moment he noticed. He felt it deep within his stomach, a sensation he never felt before. A ridiculous fluttery experience. He tried to ignore this feeling best he could. The screen before him finally loaded the home page, he just had to move on. The day passed by slowly, although the beating of his heart had seized the feeling in his gut was tied into place. He had never experienced this, perhaps it was the stares and whispers from the coworkers around him, or perhaps because he didn't admit he was wrong. Justice had always been a matter held in right regard to him, his love life not fitting his standard may have eaten away at him.. That is it.. Right? He turned off the light in his office, the rain pitter pattered against the window as his footsteps echoed through the hallway, each step felt like it barely got him forward. As he stood before the office door, something had stopped him in his tracks. He looked down and took a long, deep breath. Before finally stepped inside. He thought he saw a hard-working Hatter finish up his patient documents for just a moment. He took a breath to speak, just to stop himself. His mind had betrayed him, there was nobody at all. In a way he felt relieved, the beating of his heart began to calm once more. He hadn't even noticed how nervous he was at the idea of seeing him. It was unlike him. He stepped towards the exit, defeat washing over him. He didn't understand why he felt this way. Even by the time he had turned off the lights and gotten into bed it was still on his mind. The way Hatter scolded him, he had such a way to deliver his words in such a charmingly impactful way. He expected him to hit him, just bark out swears. But no, he utterly crushed him into complete and utter silence. It was.. Attractive. He felt his heart beat being reminded of the moment, he rubbed his hands on his head. He's not.. right? Really last weekend was just the heat of the moment thing. It isn't like he is physically a man, this doesn't make him.. He shook his head, a tight knot in his throat. He didn't want to admit to how morally wrong his defense sounded. He'd talk to Hatter tomorrow, even if he wasn't quite sure how to. He rested his eyes, it felt like hours until he managed to catch some rest. ... Morning came, And he started his day sluggish once more. Yet he managedto get through his routine swiftly, showing up to work as early as he could. His priorities did not lie with his appearance however, he looked a little rough. Hatter. He was all on his mind. His pace was quick, his loafer heels clacking against the tile floor. The pace only quickened when he recognized the back of silvery hair in a loose bun. "HATMAN!" Paul called out a bit too loudly. Hatter had stopped in his tracks and turned to him, not seeming pleased as he made his way over to Paul "Our conversation yesterday was outside of my work hours so it would be unreasonable and inappropriate to hold me accountable or discuss the matter of our affair as I am on-duty. If this has anything to do with our personal lives I recommend you keep your mouth shut." Hatter stated bluntly. Paul's eyes widened ever so slightly in surprise to his professionalism, yet he quickly gathered himself before he proved Hatter's point. "We didn't have an affair." He stupidly replied "An event or sequence of events of a specified kind or that has previously been referred to.. And you're midst a divorce Paul. I will call it as is. Are you just here to correct me?" "Well.. Uh. That.. That isn't--" "Spit it out then." He commanded impatiently. He couldn't. He had all night to think of words to say, but he had nothing that would sound right. ".. Paul." Hatter sighed, he sounded.. Disappointed if anything. Which hurt more than his anger had ".. You act just like my patients." That stung, coming from a pediatrician. He continued ".. You're a grown man, the head of one of the most prominent state hospital departments.. Yet you can't maintain your family, go sleeping around, rely on your father to provide a career for you and leave behind a trail of unsatisfied women.. You're such a pathetic man I can't help feel bad for you.. I would correct you but.. You're not twelve Paul, and I don't get paid to help you. I don't need this hassle in my life just to get nothing in return." Hatter turned away, walking off with his head lowered ever so slightly. Paul felt the knot in his throat return as he blurted out without thinking. "... I'll pay you." He.. Had to be the stupidest man alive. .. He only got a disgusted glance in response. Yeah, that was fair. He felt stupid. So.. So stupid. Hatter was right. He was. He couldn't help but gnaw into his nails a little too harshly to the point his thumb began to sting.. How could he solve this? He had to get it together. He had to.. What did he have to do? He couldn't work. He isolated himself in his office like he usually did. The rare times he stepped foot outside of his office whispers followed in his shadow. Before he knew it, days had passed. And he had thought about Hatter and their recent conversations from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. By the time an entire week had passed since that day, he finally snapped. In an embarrassing display he entered the hospital, a bouquet of vibrant, expensive flowers in his balled up fist. He could feel his fingers tremble from the nerves, and tried his hardest to ignore the staring eyes of his employees upon him. He subconsciously raised his free hand up to his mouth, gnawing at what remained of his fingernails. He stormed through the hallways in a frantic search for Hatter. Until finally, in the lunchroom, he spotted him. Hatter turned to him as his eyes turned wide. Paul had the attention of both him as well as the entirety of the lunchroom, despite that fact he began to speak the words he had given hours of thought to. He stood high and took a brave breath, then he crumbled to his knees and landed on all fours. Finally getting the courage to speak as he faced straight down to the floor. "Hatter I am an immature man.. And I deserve your disgust. I wronged you. In so many ways I wronged you.. But you made me realize you.. You are my first true love Hatter Hatman. I was stupid to not realize how lucky I was to have you by my side for that one night." He had curled into himself, sweat dripped from his forehead, he felt he needed to say more,but he only had two words stuck repeating in his mind. After a moment of brief hesitation, his final words left his mouth as a whimper "I'm sorry.." There was a moment of silence from everyone who had witnessed the humiliating scene.. Until Hatter's giggles of glee filled the room. He seemed to be the only person in the room to dare and laugh their superior right in the face for making a fool of himself. After a moment of laughter, he looked Paul into the eyes whilst having to wipe his own. "Paul.. I would've been happy with a simple 'I'm sorry I was wrong'.. But this all is just.. Precious.." he gave him a bright smile, a relaxed and almost loving look in his eyes. Hatter moved to crouch down closer towards Paul, gently taking the flowers from his hands. The soft touch of their hands brushing against one another briefly made Paul blush ever so slightly. Finally, Hatter said the words that would put this to an end. ".. I'll give it a chance." 2023 DRAFT He set foot into his office, he had practically forgotten about the weekend before. To him the whole matter was impulsive, something to be ignored and forgotten. He sat by his desk as a deep exhale escaped his mouth, the day had barely even begun and he already felt like he should be having dinner by now. He pressed the circular button of his desktop computer, yet the screen lit up with nothing to show. To waste the time away he sat back, and stared out the window. He bit his fingernails mindlessly, a bad habit he never knew to get rid of. He had begun wearing nail polish to prevent it to continue but now he walked around with painted black nail tainted with bite marks, and a bad taste in his mouth. It was quiet, the clock clicked away as people that appeared as small as ants passed by the windows below. From where he sat he could pretend to crush them with his finger, but something about that never appealed to him. His sense of justice never left his blood, even in matters that are innocent in execution. Somehow that strong sense of morality stuck with him in his day to day life for every matter at hand.. Well, all matters except- "PAUL HOPPER." A familiar voice screeched with the purest of rage, his head darted towards the door within an instant. Hatter Hatman. The employee before him had his work phone in the fist of his hand, the second Paul's mouth opened, Hatter would interrupt before he had even made a peep. "Does this sound familiar?" His voice trembled with anger. With the click of a button, Paul's phone began to ring. A sound that began to bug him a bit during the past few days. However he had to face the consequences from ignoring them before "HUH? SOUNDS FAMILIAR DOES IT NOW?" The face he didn't even realize he was making gave it away. He stormed further inside the office, the door remained wide open for everyone to hear. Both hands slammed onto the desk, the phone he held made a thud upon impact "Listen here little man." He had glanced down for just a second upon saying 'little', a subtle action that had hurt his pride "You may be daring enough to HAVE SEX WITH YOUR COWORKER IN A CINEMA PARKING LOT." He said, his head temporarily turned to the door for everyone to hear "But even such a dimwitted daddy's boy should know to call back his date at LEAST the day after.. But you aren't good with pleasing a lover, are you now?" He had returned his gaze to him, he leaned forward to overshadow the man before him. Paul couldn't help but sit further down his seat,, his hands had lightly gripped the armrests of his desk chair. "When you didn’t pick up I decided to call some people, I got worried about you Paul.. REAL worried.. Well, your ex-wife was a dear to me unlike someone, we got along.. Very well. Matter of fact we're having some dinner with the family after my shift.. I am thinking to talk about a certain someone." The way he said that stung. Hatter's eyes pierced through his as he put up his hair into his usual bun. It was if he barely cared, this conversation was just a matter he had to deal with. "She must have some delightful stories for the lunchroom don't you think, Mister head of the clinic? It'll be good for your reputation." He stood back upright and finished up the bun, turning away and walking off. He turned back to catch Paul had subconsciously moved his gaze to down his back. Instead of snapping any further, he just looked at him with terrifying neutrality that scared his gaze away. He let out an offended huff, before walking off to start his shift. Paul sat there motionless, he could feel the heat on his face. It was unlike him not to defend himself, but to be frank he was correct. Completely right. It had never bothered him when he upset the girls back in college, but now.. His heart pounding, he could feel himself get a bit tingly in his chest. Hatter Hatman, of all people.. Actually scared him a little?.. He rubbed his neck, and let out a long trembling breath. His expression was tense, turning between smiling and frowning within second. He tried to cover with his hand the moment he noticed. He felt it deep within his stomach, a sensation he never felt before. Ridiculous. He tried to ignore this feeling best he could. The screen before him finally loaded the home page, he just had to move on. The day passed by slowly, although the beating of his heart had seized the feeling in his gut was tied into place. He had never experienced this, perhaps it was the stares and whispers around him, or perhaps because he didn't admit he was wrong. Justice had always been a matter held in right regard to him, his love life not fitting his standard may have eaten away at him.. That would be it.. Right? He had to find Hatter. He turned off the light in his office, Hatter should be finishing up his shift now. The rain pitter pattered against the window as his footsteps echoed through the hallway, it felt like it took forever. As he stood before the office door, something had stopped him in his tracks. It took just a moment, and a deep breath. He finally stepped inside and thought he saw a hard-working Hatter finish up his patient documents. He took a breath to speak, just to stop himself. His mind had betrayed him, Nobody. In a way he felt relieved, his beating heart began to calm once more. He hadn't even noticed how nervous he was at the idea of seeing him. It was unlike him. He said he would drink tea with his ex.. Right? But it would be creepy to track him down. Perhaps search up his address and.. Worse.. No. He had to deal with this in person. He set step towards the exit, some sort of feeling of defeat overwhelming him. He didn't understand why he felt this way. Even by the time he had turned off the lights and gotten into bed it was still on his mind. The way Hatter yelled at him, he had such a way to deliver his words in such a charmingly impactful way. He expected him to hit him, just bark out swears. But no, he utterly crushed him into complete and utter silence. It was.. Incredibly attractive. He felt his heart beat being reminded of the moment, he rubbed his hands on his head. He's not.. right? Really the entire moment he had with Hatter last weekend was just the heat of the moment. He hadn't transitioned yet so, does that really make him?.. He shook his head, a tight knot in his throat. He had to gather himself and man up. He is not attracted to men, he simply isn't. But he didn't want to admit to how morally wrong his reasoning sounded put to words. He'd talk to Hatter tomorrow, even if he wasn't quite sure how to. He rested his eyes, it felt like hours until he managed to catch some rest ... Morning came, he felt sluggish as he got up to his feet. Yet he rushed his routine nonetheless, showing up to work as early as he could be. His priorities did not lie with his appearance however, Hatter. He had to find Hatter. His pace was quick, his loafer heels clacking against the tile floor. The pace only quickened when he recognized the back of silvery hair in a loose bun. "HATMAN!" Paul called out a bit too loudly. Hatter had stopped in his tracks and turned to him, not seeming pleased as he made his way over to Paul "Our conversation yesterday was outside of my work hours so it would be unreasonable and inappropriate to hold me accountable or discuss the matter of our affair as I am on-duty. If this has anything to do with our personal lives I recommend you keep your mouth shut." Hatter stated bluntly. Paul's eyes widened ever so slightly in surprise to his professionalism, yet he quickly gathered himself before he proved Hatter's point. "We didn't have an affair." He stupidly replied "An event or sequence of events of a specified kind or that has previously been referred to.. And you're midst a divorce Paul. I will call it as is. Are you just here to correct me?" "Well.. Uh.. That isn't what I-" "Spit it out then." He couldn't. He had all night to think of words to say, but he had nothing that would sound right. ".. Paul." Hatter sighed, he sounded.. Disappointed if anything. Which hurt more than his anger had ".. You act like my patients." ... He worked with children. ".. You're a grown man, the head of one of the most prominent Lochwell state hospital departments.. Yet you can't maintain your family, go around sleeping with whoever feminine touches, rely on your father to provide a career for you and leave behind a trail of unsatisfied women.. You're such a pathetic man I can't help feel bad for you.. I would correct you but.. You're not twelve Paul, and I don't get paid to help you. Get it together." Hatter turned away, walking off with his head lowered ever so slightly. Paul felt the knot in his throat as he blurted out without thinking "... I'll pay you." .. He only got a disgusted glance in response. He felt stupid. So.. So stupid. Hatter was right. He was. He couldn't help but gnaw into his nails a little too harshly to the point his thumb began to sting.. How could he solve this? He had to get it together. He had to.. What did he have to do? He couldn't work right. He isolated himself in his office like he usually did, he only came out in case of surgery. Every time he stepped foot out of his office whispers followed in his shadow. Before he knew it, days had passed. And he had thought about Hatter and their recent conversations from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. By the time an entire week had passed since the day Hatter had yelled at Paul, he had to give in to everything, and swallow his pride. In an embarrassing display he entered the hospital, a bouquet of gorgeous flowers in his balled up hand. He could feel his fingers tremble from the nerves, and tried his hardest to ignore the staring eyes of his employees upon him. He subconsciously raised his free hand up to his mouth, storming through the hallways in a frantic search for Hatter Hatman. Until finally, in the lunchroom, he spotted him. Hatter turned to him in slight surprise at the unusual display. As Paul had the attention of both him as well as the entirety of the lunchroom, he began to speak the words he had given hours of thoughts to. He stood high for just a moment. Sudenly, he crumbled to his knees and landed on all fours. Finally getting the courage to speak as he faced straight down to the floor. "Hatter I am one immature man.. And I deserve your disgust. I wronged you. In so many ways I wronged you.. But you made me realize you.. You are my first true love Hatter Hatman. I was stupid to not realize how lucky I was to have you by my side for that one night." He had curled into himself, sweat dripped from his forehead as his final words left his mouth as a whimper "I'm sorry.." There was a moment of silence, before Hatter's giggles of glee filled the room. He seemed to be the only person in the room to dare and laugh their superior right in the face. After a moment of laughter, he looked Paul into the eyes of the head he had raised upon hearing the lighthearted sounds come from him. "Paul.. I would've been happy enough with an 'I'm sorry I was wrong'.. But this all is just too precious.." he gave him a reassuring smile, as Hatter crouched down closer towards Paul, gently taking the flowers from his hands. The soft touch of their hands stroking against one another for a brief moment made Paul blush ever so slightly ".. I'm willing to give it a chance.. However.. You better continue to embarrass yourself this way.. Okay?" Paul scrambled to his knees .. That's where I left it off 08/12/2023: Poem of sorts Characters: None Today is day one. Day one had begun with the sound of youthful cries. The touch of soaked cheeks touching skin. Gleeful chattering muffled any other sound. Emotion muffled any sense, any true concern. This was day one, all the rest didn't matter. Day one had begun with straps over each shoulder. A building muffled by the sounds of youthful screeches. The thoughtless wishes of what shall be, The childlike shapes crayons drew, was it supposed to look like this? Something so familiar was missing. With a shrug, steps approached the place before it. This was day one, all the rest didn't matter. Day one had begun with a building quite like the last. A repeat of the past, déjà vu. Why did it feel the same, wouldn't you know better? Strap over one shoulder, something remained missing. Entertained yells muffled every clear sense. With a shrug, steps approached the place before it. This was day one, all the rest didn't matter. The beeping of an alarm rang, and a grumble accompanied it. The same alarm beeped each morning. Each morning, the alarm would stop. Each morning, feet stepped out of the bed. Each morning, teeth would be brushed. Each morning, breakfast would be eaten. When was day one of each of these days? The clock ticked like it had done since day one. A living room muffled by the sound of chewing. The crunching of familiar crackers, a familiar taste. A familiar sensation of chewed mush. Then, an unfamiliar sound. Silence. The clock had run out, it needed batteries. With a shrug, steps approached the front door. Perhaps after today, the batteries could be refilled. This was day one, all the rest didn't matter. Each morning, the alarm wouldn't stop. Each morning, no feet stepped out of the bed. Each morning, no teeth would be brushed. Each morning, no breakfast would be eaten. The days have been alike since day one. The sound of ticking had gone unnoticed, The lack of the clock's ticking It was no longer like day one. Everywhere I went, everything I saw, everything I heard. The sight and sound of a ticking clock were muffled by the crowd. The crowd of people, the crowd of noise, the crowd of anything at all. Something one is blinded to, unless they allow themselves to see it. Without the ticking of a clock, day one comes to an end. EARLY 2023: Motherly Characters: Mary Mirrens, Alice (Adrian) Simon Pecker Warnings: Mentioned hair pulling and bodily fluids. NOTES: THIS IS NOT ACCURATE, ADRIAN IS A GIRL NAMES ALICE NOW AND THE PLOT IS NO LONGER ACCURATE TO "HALLS OF VISION" As she passed by the window like she had done each and every day, she would be met with the same sight she would always be greeted with. The sun had only just begun to shine across the blackened flower fields, the air cooled her face through the window left ajar. Her eyes were still adjusting from having woken up only a moment prior. She couldn't help but let out an exhausted sigh. Simon was sat there like he always did, she could hear him the moment she stood still. Breathing so heavy it was audible even from a distance, gasps accompanied by screams and sobs. The halls had never been so loud before, but with Pecker it was difficult to get even a moment of peace. Like always her feet led her outside, as before she knew it she was sat beside the source of all the noise that infuriated her so very much. She hated those human emotions, those human weaknesses that always spiraled individuals downwards pain and suffering in this cruel world. Simon, he was a victim of the cruelty of this world, just like she was. If only he suffered less. Without a word spoken she had laid his head onto her chest, stroking her soft fingers over his head with the gentlest touch she could muster to comfort the trembling man she had grown to hate so much. Oh how she despised Simon, she hated how he would leave her clothing soaked in snot, saliva and tears, she hated the ear piercing screams of desperation, the tightly clutched grip onto her back that would often leave her with temporary marks. Humanity is so weak and fragile, but this boy just had to be the most fragile out of them all. She hated the touch of his hair on her fingers, the feel of patches of skin where it had been pulled out, a habit barely visible as it was disguised in his thick waves and curls. She hated his glasses being pressed against her skin when she even loosened her embrace in any way. She hated his audible sniffles before breathing a few regular breaths through his usual gasps and chokes, even if this calmness was for just a moment in the safety of her arms. She hated him, she hated all of it. Adrian Simon Pecker was worse than any child can be, he barely stood stable on his feet, he would never swallow his food like he should, he sprints frantically just to fall and struggle to pick himself up. He gets himself soaked through snot, tears and urine. He was an embarrassment, and she hated him for it. He just had to be the most pathetic parasite out of them all, but he was a parasite, the only thing she did like about him. It was the one aspect of his being that allowed her to excuse how disgusting he was to her. The one reason she got out of bed every single day to walk into the flower fields first thing in the morning. The only reason she sat and stroked his tangled uneven hair for hours a day, why she wiped the tears from his twitching cheeks, why she allowed him to scream so loudly her head would ache She hated him, she has hated him ever since the first day he revealed his identity at this forgotten place. But whenever she looked out of that window, urged to walk away and leave him to learn for himself how to survive, her feet would always lead her back towards him. She was always spending the morning rocking him back and forth against her like he was someone precious to her. She hated him, but whenever she had just a moment to take his hand, and look at how their wrists matched in their colour. She couldn't help but tolerate everything she hated so much. "Simon, dear." She spoke softly to the only person she had ever bothered to be gentle with. Trembling eyes tried to look up towards her through the burning tears that made his eyes sparkle in the light "You're soaked and covered in dirt.. Get yourself washed up, breakfast will begin soon." "OFCOURSEYESMOTHERMARY" He could only yell, his words so quickly followed by one another it would be difficult to follow. He mindlessly stumbled onto his weakened legs to follow her command. She never minded her followers calling her mother, but something about Simon saying it has always left her feeling disturbed. It was the way he said it, it wasn't out of respect. It was so very clearly fear. Simon was as scared and disgusting as a stray dog, unable to defend and stand up for himself. It would be difficult for her to even see him as a human, let alone an adult. How could someone be this pathetic. She would sigh once more, left with her legs being brushed against by the gentle grass blown onto her due to the subtle wind. She could only watch Simon disappear inside the building. How did she sink so low to care for someone like Simon. EARLY 2023: Animalistic nature Characters: Cashgrab/Cornelius Wilkins, Mitchell Schneider Warnings: Animal death and extreme violence. NOTES: THIS IS SO!! NOT!! ACCURATE!! IN ANY WAY!! eXCEPT CORNELIUS, HE WAS LIKE THAT AS A CHILD (AND STILL). Grey feathers with a blackened stripe at the tip flew by the port town's haven, some had fallen into the in the water, now soothingly floating over the waves. The streets had filled itself with these feathers, accompanied with a near manic laughter of the purest joy. There he was greeted to the sight, a redheaded boy, a parasite of course. What else but a parasite could be so grim. He was bashing in the skull of a seagull over and over into the brick wall. It was a gruesome sight, a boy his age covered in the blood of an animal. Killing like it was for fun. The wall making a thunk, over and over, seemingly to get more soaked every time he did it. The head of the animal was flattened, its eye swung around as it had been long dead. That boy, Cornelius Wilkins. The classmate that always got into trouble for beating, scratching and biting his peers and those who were supposed to be above him, it wasn't a surprise he kills animals too, typical, really. Stratham was always streets of violence, but Cornelius just had to be known just about all over this large town. All that made him special was the impression his chaos made, that was all that defined him. A toothy grin got directed towards him in a sudden turn of the head, the seagull pointed toward him "I see you!!" Cornelius said with the childlike demeanor that matched his age. He had tilted his head at him as he, a stranger that was himself, and approached. "You want to end up as the bird or what? Shoo!" He continued with a cocky sense of confidence that it'd scare him away. "I won't leave for some kid." He responded in a calm, cold tone, coming closer and closer to the rumored danger of Stratham without fear in his eyes. Like an animal encouraged to play, his eyes grew with some odd excitement instead of offense. His hands were kneading the neck of the winged carcass with sharpened fingernails "What? Gonna act all tough? Just because you didn't get on my nerves yet don't mean you're not doing it now Mitchelll " As if him knowing his name intimidated him, Mitchell stood before Cornelius. Looking at the bird "Did you kill it yourself?" He rubbed it in his face, quite literally. "Duhhhh." He replied, it was quite obvious after all. The bite marks on the bird matched with the sharpened teeth in his mouth "And I'll kill you too if I gotta!" His sentence ended with a higher pitch, there was a sort of constant tease in his tone. He was trying to get a reaction. "Kill another one." He commanded without emotion, the blood of the animal having left a stain on the face The violent boy was caught off guard, tilting his head as his confidence crumbled more and more as the conversation went on "Do it." He encouraged once more. With some doubt on his face Cornelius had decided not to let some strange boy affect him, his teeth making their way onto his expression once more. What a show-off. "Fine! But not because you tell me to!" He lied, making his way closer towards the private owned boats of the haven. Before much time had passed, he had indeed dug his teeth into an unsuspecting seagull. Now shaking his head around as if he was a wild animal. Mitchell approached him once more, grabbing the seagull by the legs "Give it to me." He commanded. Cornelius growled in response, his teeth tightly stuck into the fresh seagull flesh. The struggle continued. "Give it." "Grrmmm.." "Give. It." The tone of the third request for the seagull seemed to have hit a nerve, as Cornelius pounced onto Mitchell. He spat the bird aside, just to have Mitchell's pinned body properly in sight and punching him right into his face "WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A DOG?!" He said, he punched him, again "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!" again "YOU'RE NO BETTER!!" He felt his skin aching, Cornelius's laughter filled his ears. Before he knew it himself he had acted. His fist had hit Cornelius square in the face, the sensation was satisfying. When Cornelius stumbled back he couldn't help but do it again, and again. Only his quick thinking had benefited him, as Cornelius's strength quickly overpowered Mitchell as he was struggled harshly onto the ground once more, Cornelius's nails dug into his wrists. Cornelius let out heavy breaths from the mouth, he must've really upset him now. But to his surprise, he laughed. The sun reflected on the blood that had stained his teeth. With childlike joy he chanted "Try and punch me now! Try and punch me now!" Mitchell attempted to get his fist loose, to no avail "Haha! Too bad!" He said, licking away the blood from his nose that had begun to bleed from Mitchell's assault. It was so obvious, he was just a child after all. A smirk escaped his mouth "I heard there is a stray dog down the street." "We'll visit my place first! I am starving!" Cornelius said, stretching in a way cat would before biting onto the seagull once more, keeping it into his mouth as he had gotten up like a dog holding onto a toy. Holding out his hand to Mitchell. He took it, and got onto his own feet with the help of his newfound companion "Sure." This was who everyone in Stratham freaked out over? What a waste of time. He looked at the redhead run up ahead, joy overtaking his every movement. Through such violence there was an innocence to him. Idiotic brat. He thought. EARLY 2023: Wilkie being delusional Characters: Sutton Wilkie, Andrei Rosenheim Warnings: Slight sexual undertones/topics, mostly lighthearted. Sutton was sat back on what could barely be called a seat, his floor covered in ramen cups, unwashed clothes and chopsticks which surrounded the makeshift setup for watching anime. This space would only consist of a set of pillows, one of which was an embarrassing body pillow that was conveniently covered by his back. He was a mess like always, Headphones plugged in and covering his ears to allow him to mute the world and replace it with poorly voiced boy love animes. But between the overly decorated laptop and the large headphones that covered his ears would be his toes playing around with the cable, his position was questionable, laid back as his feet were perfectly placed to control the laptop with minimal effort This was is definition for relaxing, men moaning numbing the mind after work and eating one of his usual cups of ramen all by himself. He relaxed as he laid back, partial textured warm skin and bandages now pressed against his cheek "EH?!" The ramen cup slipped from his hand as he jolted up, he was barely in time to clutch onto it causing just a few drips from the impact to soak into the carpet floor. His impulsive motion smacked his headphones off his head. He recognized that texture anytime, so he spoke before even having laid an eye on the man he knew was behind him now "A-ANDREI?!" He peeped out as the situation had easily put some colour onto his face. Scenarios flashing before his eyes before his mouth spoke, these invasive thoughts not helping him feel any less flustered by having one of his many crushes suddenly in his room, in the dark, alone. His hands trembled at the thought "You didn't respond when I knocked, so I invited myself in. I guessed you were.. Occupied." The man snickered, his smile could make any man faint. Or perhaps that was just what Sutton thought. Unintentionally yet naturally so, he replied with a poorly executed flirt. "Y-You came to see me huh? Any reason why or did you just miss me?.." He stuttered in as cutesy as a tone he could muster. "You forgot your paperwork in the lunchroom, they are on your nightstand." "Oh." In one sentence his delusion shattered. Why can't this be a story of unlikely love in the workplace? Why must it merely be... Work. He replied, in his usual slightly disinterested tone which he used when speaking to anyone that does not fit his tastes "So. Is that all? I'm buuussy." He pointed at the unfortunately timed sensual action taking place on the scene "Busy.. Busy.. I am sure you were, I sure am curious how you sneaked.. That in." Confused by the statement he had turned back to the television, the realization hit that he had added something truly disgraceful to his collection. How could he showcase such a story in such pride, how EMBARRASSING. He wouldn't have been ashamed if he was on his own, to be completely honest with himself, he had worse in his collection. But ANDREI did not need to know that. His face had gotten more and more similar to his red dyed hair, his mind frantically trying to settle on a thought, what must he think of me? I must look disgusting, Eh he saw worse from me. ISN'T THAT THE ISSUE? WHY AM I STILL POINTING AT THIS EXAMPLE OF THE SHAMEFUL FRUITS OF MY ADDICTION, LOOK AT HIM HE MUST BE UNCOMFORTABLE or arouFOCUS His eye slowly moved up to Andrei with the look of pure shame written across his face, just to be met with Andrei's... Casual expression. "The animation is quite well made for a cheap budget, they sure lacked on the voice actors though, tsh tsh tsh.. What a shame. Audio cues are of most significance in filmmaking don't you think?" He was flabbergasted, taking just the moment to reply. Caught off guard by how casual he was. "Er.. Yeahhh?... What is wrong with you weirdo? You like this stuff tooooo?" He hoped to embarrass Andrei with his teasing tone, yet his colleague's cocky smirk did not help convince him he succeeded "Me? Weird? I'm not the one watching 'hentai' in the workplace." "WE LIVE IN THE WORKPLACE!!" Wilkie snapped in defense, it being even more humorous to the man mocking him. He did not speak a word, causing Wilkie to awkwardly fill the silence "Mhph!.. HOWEVER you are correct. The audio does take away from the qualitEH?" He at last noticed his foot had managed to pull out the cable from its port during his panic "Isn't it fortunate we can agree on that." His collected tone replied while a chuckle slipped out, he leant forward, so much so that it seemed like he had laid down on his stomach besides Sutton, the side of his arm pressed against his hip. Wait, HE HAD LAID DOWN? "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE!!!" Sutton somewhat playfully pushed into his rough cheek, yet knowing it was Andrei his bandages felt so much softer to the touch, even after his disrespectful interruption. "What hmm? Embarrassed? Aren't you supposed to be the proud lustful man around here?" He teased "Wouldn't you like that? A prompt for a new story?" His tone mimicked that of Sutton's own scratchy yet awkward voice "Andrei came over to bring back my paperwork, but the night was full of lust and desire.." Sutton's insides tingled, that bastard was playing with him. It was horrid how well he knew him. Andrei has slithered his way in front of Wilkie, he had laid a finger onto his chest, slipping it downward to his stomach as he spoke. Sutton's heartbeat had suddenly quickened, wait WAIT? DID HE MEAN IT? IS IT HAPPENING? HERE? NOW? AH. AH AH AH. His eyes widened by the situation, he could only watch as Andrei spoke. "His fingers slipped down my chest, as his face leant closer. A stare so full of desire.." HIS EYES ARE STARING SO DEEPLY INTO MINE, HE IS SO CLOSE. IT HAS TO BE HIS TEASE. BUT NOBODY IS HERE TO WATCH SO. WHY? WHY? His sweat started to drip as he was pinned to his pillows. He couldn't help it, he really couldn't. His teasing had always been appealing and desirable, the sensation of his finger alone being too much, he could only stare at his face. He couldn't focus on his words any longer, the endless options of what these blurred words meant getting to his head. Lustful thoughts shot back and forth through his mind, making him curl and shiver. He felt so.. Uncomfortable. What if he, were they actually going to do something? What would it mean for their work? No this is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. He never wanted this, he liked the idea but.. He kicked harshly into Andrei's chest to get him off, This didn't feel right at all. He couldn't help but burst out into tears and curl into himself, this is horrible. Did I just KICK him? Andrei MUST hate me now, and NOW I am crying in front of him too? This is it, the most humiliating moment of my life. It's over, it really is. The second he got kicked Andrei's gaze had softened into a look he never had on his face before. The mouth of the man that always grinned had its corners fall ever so slightly, his exposed eye no longer relaxed. The kick didn't hurt him, it was not a look of pain. Sutton lived up to his scrawny figure, Andrei could've easily fought back. He had sat up in front of him once more and placed his hands onto his arms a little too quickly for comfort, Sutton flinched, It put a knot into his throat "Sutton.. Too much?" Was all Andrei could muster in the sweetest tone Sutton had ever heard. He could only nod in return, the discomfort slowly fading into a warm fluttery feeling instead upon realizing his touch was out of concern. Despite that the tears kept flowing as he got led into an embrace. Being pressed against Andrei's chest didn't slow down his heartbeat at any rate. "Oh how foolish of me." Andrei's words were like butter to his ears. The way he held him softly despite his generally rough and unidentifiable composure was so odd, yet comforting. He hid himself into the awkward embrace, they had never been so close before, neither emotionally or physically. It made him feel warm. Andrei truly does care for him, doesn't he? But unlike reasons that got him red before, a glimpse of a smile peeked through this time. From the corner of his eye, he saw this did affect Andrei too. He had removed his gaze off of Sutton, it was unlike him. He always has an observing stare, finding something to make fun of. But he didn't for him, not at this moment. Before he knew it, the grip was removed, and Andrei had gotten up. It left him cold, still covered in his own snot and tears. "I'll leave you to your businesses that I am clearly unaware of.." He obviously lied, which was the point of the statement "I will make up to you by helping with the paperworks, for the late intrusion, that is." Look at that, Sutton managed to make him embarrassed after all.. It didn't feel satisfying. "W-Wait!" Sutton had blurted out, speaking before he had even thought. He wanted. He wanted.. Yeah, that's it! He scrambled to grab and anime from his collection that he had bought in cd format. "DETECTIVE STORY" He let out a somewhat hopeful yet desperate explanation, trying to elaborate "Y-You'll like it! It is like, all smart psychology stuff you're into. It isn't hentai I just thought the main character was sexy!! Ahahaahhaaa..." The awkward silence was made even more unbearable by Wilkie's sniffling and the erotic anime playing vaguely in the background. Way to be an idiot Sutton.. However, steps approached Andrei had walked back, he really had! He took a seat beside Sutton, and spoke up when he settled once more "My room's ventilation is broken, I suppose you wouldn't mind that excuse for me to stay a night, correct?" Wilkie would respond with a nod without hesitation, his smile couldn't be wiped as he joined Andrei properly and put his blanket over them both. Once more conveniently using his feet to make the process of putting the cd in quicker, a habit he had grown used to. When the cd got to work, he sat back laid closely by Andrei. He hoped it wasn't noticeable that he leant against him, he couldn't help it. Just like his collections it felt more fulfilling to be able to hold the things that make one happy. The intro of the anime played as he was stuck in thought. What he wrote about Andrei, no matter how attractive the character named after his coworker may be in how fiction, could never compare to the man actually beside him. EARLY 2023: (Adel)Moe's first kiss Characters: Cashgrab/Cornelius Wilkins, Moe (Adelmo) Hoffman Warnings: Abuse, suggested abduction, hunger and exhaustion, suggested death, choking, gagging, Written from a romanticized perspective. Which is the character and not my perspective on abuse. NOTES: THIS IS NO LONGER ACCURATE TO "THE ANIMAL CAGE" STORY OR MOE'S CHARACTER! How long has it been now? Maybe a week, a month? He did not know. There was no indicator of how much time had passed, only the slightest glimpse of light slipped through the gaps of the entrance door, it barely consoled him. Near complete darkness had filled this period of his life. Weakened, his stomach grumbled, his body had grown sore. He had long lost his only source of water, the bottle was consumed in the darkness of the room, the only necessity that was met now gone. He felt his mind slipping in and out of consciousness, but suddenly he heard a sound that caused him to awaken. The noise of the door creaking open, followed by the dimmed flickering light flashing on not even a second after. Even this subtle light stung his eyes. However, that did not prevent him from trying to see. He wanted to look at him, he made his best effort to stare at the silhouette he had grown familiar to through weakened burning eyes. His brain barely processed the figure's movement toward him. Before he even realized the figure had come near him, the brief sensation of warm hands laid onto his cheeks alerted him. This touch quickly turned into a harsh grip. It was clear that he was in front of him sooner than his sight could tell. Through squinting eyes he could make out a toothy grin in the darkness overshadowing him, confident, proud even. He got the courage to move his gaze up his face, where he saw the man's piercing dark eyes staring into his own. He realized as his heart skipped a beat. As wrong as it was, no matter how sickened he felt toward himself and knowing damn well the suffering this stranger had caused him. Even through his fear he had grown to adore him. He felt his sharp fingernail enter his mouth, followed by the skin of his thumb laid onto his bottom lip. It pushed downward to open up his mouth. All he could do is let him, weakened by his touch. He felt a water bottle pressed against his lips, followed by the sound of his own gagging and gasping as he had forgotten how to swallow. Most of the water dripped over his cheeks, it was terribly cold. He had accidentally gotten the man's glasses wet, it was clearly reflected by the lacking light. He had probably spat onto his face too, yet the man did not seem to care, if anything this made his grin widen. He shivered as he felt the freezing water drip over his face, but his mind was occupied by the individual moving closer to his side. Just for the dripping to be replaced by the sensation of the man's tongue on his cheek, he had grown used to this feeling. It strangely put him at ease, tension left his body ever so slightly. It had grown to be somewhat comforting, it felt caring. He could feel his face had gotten warmer. He saw the man appear again from the side of his face, his lips subtly moved as he said his name with a yearning whisper "Adelmo.." His soothing voice made his heart melt, the only voice he had heard in so long. It was such a beautifully charming voice. He couldn't help but allow him to pull him closer by just cheeks, causing his weakened body to lose its already lacking balance and partially land on the lap of the man kneeled in front of him "The things I would do to hear you gag like that forever.." He said in a voice so disturbingly collected, it would nearly come across as casual if it wasn't so full of restrained excitement. He was terrified, but this feeling was overwhelmed by some sort of twisted excitement of his own. His breaths were shallow, he felt his drool get dragged down his chin as the warm hands moved downward towards his neck. His thumbs lightly pressed onto his neck. He could breathe, but the tension of the moment made it feel as if he was unable to. Yet another whisper echoed through the practically empty space they sat in as the man spoke, a slight shiver in his voice as if he restrained himself. "As if the life is drained from somethings body.." The man let a sickening chuckle slip out of his mouth. It gave him a knot in his throat, he felt light trembling against his skin, as if it was in anticipation. He was reliving something in his head, at least it seemed to be that way. Replacing a memory with the image of the man currently gripped into his hands. The words lacked significant context, he could only guess what they meant. Yet, not another movement came from him despite how desperately he wished to act out on the fantasy that played in his mind. He could feel the man's desire so clearly. He could lightly feel the rhythm of his heart pounding through his fingertips, there was something strangely comforting feeling both their heartbeats quicken in the moment. Mindlessly caught in the moment, he got a response. "Do it.." The words barely left his mouth, he had done nothing but let out noises and screams for days now. Those words left his mouth so unexpectedly that they barely sounded like his own. He could not stop staring at the man, trying to make out his features through eyes that would refuse to focus. He had unknowingly grabbed onto the man's wrists in return, his fingers laid weakened beside the bumps that were especially prominent on his bony hands. "Be the last person i'll ever see.." He had muttered before he gave his words any thought. He did not want to die, but the idea of dying by this man had grown so familiar in his mind that he almost desired it. His threatening words had always managed to make it sound so intimate, desirable, he wanted that intimacy more than anything now. There was a moment of silence, even through the darkness he noticed something in his abuser seemed to soften. He felt movement on his neck, by his surprise the grip loosened from his throat and moved towards the back of his head instead. The thumbs pressed against his jaw to guide the direction he was facing. He felt lips laid onto his mouth. His body went numb as all his brain could possibly put all its attention to was this new thrilling sensation on his lips, his body leant weakened against the man who had treated him like an animal moments before, like an object of his possession. It was such an unfair, cruel, inhumane feeling, he felt as low and desperate as a lost stray dog. His sweaty hands barely held onto the hands that were now supporting his whole body, something felt so different now. No matter the awful treatment he had to go through, one feeling overshadowed it all, especially at this given moment. He felt wanted. He had chances to stop it from going this far, he knew even back then it would lead to something like this. But through this mans twisted obsession he couldn't help but feel flattered, even content with the uncomfortable circumstances. He even started to desire it despite how sickened it made him feel. It was something so different compared to the draining life he lived. He needed the stimulation, and this man had become the only one that had granted that sensation. Not only recently, but over the past few years. It started so small, at some point he was the just the only person that truly made him cringe in disgust, the only one that made him paranoid despite all the other dangers in this town, the only one that sickened him to his core. Yet, he had grown to be so much more, the bringer of the slightest bit of light, the only face he saw, even the only face he wanted to see. The only sound of any significance, the only warm touch on the cold and filthy cement floor he was kept on. It sounds so desirable if it just weren't for the grim reality. Something in him knew that he was relying on someone abusive so much so that this would lead towards a life that couldn't possibly return to normal. If he had been responsible enough and did what was right the moment it began it would've never come this far. But desperation got him to this point, and now there truly was no turning back. And despite better judgement, he didn't want things to return to normal. He wanted to be upset about this, he really did. He wanted to fight for what he was ripped away from, struggle, feel like he had something better to return to. But he couldn't, he didn't miss what his life used to be. He felt filthy for feeling such a way, but at that moment these concerns were nothing more but rushing thoughts shooting through the back of his mind. He softly gasped for air every opportunity he had and held onto this stranger that had grown so familiar, completely consumed in the moment, his first kiss. His grip was so weak, but he refused to let go. His face felt warm, his stomach fluttered at his every touch. He could feel the corners of his mouth turning his expression into one of content even through the near unbearable pain and exhaustion. For once the time going so very slow didn't seem all that bad anymore. All it was was a mere kiss, but it was so much more to him. This wasn't supposed to be what being in love is like, but it felt so much like it. LATE 2022: Flower fields Characters: Richmond Addington, Derick Sterling He didn't know how long he had been staring at Derick, time was something that was hard to keep track of in the flower fields. When Richmond had this facility built decades prior it had been nothing more but a field of nothingness, but after several years of attention, it had grown to be one of the prettiest fields of daisies Richmond had ever seen. It had changed like no time had passed, similar to how he felt sitting on the soft grass. It had grown to be the only place where he did not mind sitting around for hours at a time. He only took care of it because he liked insects, that was the only reason why. While he thought of his reasonings for this unnecessary effort he would spot a grasshopper. Long distracted and not paying attention to Derick's rambling words. He was used to this, Derick's words never intrigued him enough to listen, it was just mind numbing information. Derick was too stupid to notice he stopped listening long ago, he was distracted like a child blinded with wonder, he would observe Derick pick the daisies while going on and on about subjects that only registered as fogged sounds in his mind. This sound would be muffled by the chewing on the harsh endoskeleton of the insect he spotted earlier. Derick's mannerisms made him look ridiculous, he never acted his age. Ever since he arrived to the clinic it seemed like the only thing that changed was his mental health, yet he was as clingy and clumsy as he had always been in the past. He looked down on him, he had never seen Derick as someone that could ever compare to him. But he could rightfully admit, he was drawn to him like a moth attracted to light. There was something about him that intrigued him greatly, something he could not quite put his finger on. Derick would manage to get his conscious attention by crawling the short distance he sat before over to Richmond, now located right in front of his nose. The bright blue eye which was exposed from the bandages that hid the majority of his face would sparkle with the purest look of admiration. Richmond would usually look away if eye contact was made, but with Derick he could never get himself to do so. Derick had a stare unlike any other, and the sweetest smile not anyone else he had known could ever muster across his face. He put a weak flower crown made of the daisies onto Richmond's head. Richmond would not break eye contact with Derick, not even feeling the urge to smile or respond. He did not care for the kindness Derick offered. He would stare blankly, numb of any possible feeling. Yet as much as that would've long scared anyone else away, Derick would never be bothered by the fact he never appreciated this unnecessary kindness. "It fits you.. Look, we match!" Derick would point out the flowers placed on his own head, he had yet to stop staring directly at Richmond. All he could do would stare in return, and respond with "Okay." He wouldn't know what else to say. A lack of interest that would usually make any other person upset, yet once more it didn't bother Derick at all. He just tilted his head as he let out a soft giggle at his response "I talked about flowers today" He explained, it caught him off guard. He knew He didn't listen. This actually intrigued Richmond enough to pay attention to what else he had to say, but Derick's ramble wouldn't last long. "Daisies are my favourite flower, they symbolize innocence and purity." He looked up at Richmond as if he expected a response. It remained quiet for a short while, but eventually Richmond got the hint to respond "That's all?" a natural bluntness in his tone. Derick nodded immediately in response, accompanied with an audible "Mhm!" It took Richmond a moment to understand the situation, it was odd to him. He didn't quite get why Derick acted the way he did, but instead of thinking too much about it with no solid answer he would ask him. "Why did you talk for so long if that's all you wanted to say." Derick's smile had never faded, acting as if it was nothing surprising "You never listen to me because I stumble over my talk and make it confusing, I practice when you ignore me so I can tell you the most important things of what I talked of." As much as his sentence would sound a little foolish, it was clear to Richmond that he had underestimated his intelligence. He was outsmarted by Derick as if it was nothing. "Tomorrow you'll listen to me!" Derick added before he could overthink the situation any further, he backed off from Richmond. He hadn't even noticed Derick had leant in closer to his face as he was stuck baffled by the fact he had tricked him, only now that he was out of his face he would notice the absence of the soft trembling breath he didn't notice the moment before. Derick acted like he usually would, no sense of pride, no sign that he truly tried to make Richmond doubt himself. He just seemed genuine in his intentions. "Because I made you realize today that you ignore me, you'll listen to me tomorrow.. So i'll talk about something you like so you have a reason to pay attention, okay?" He never failed to amaze him, Richmond's stare turned into one of slight intrigue rather than the completely blank expression he usually wore on his face "Okay, Derick." He was wrong, Derick was like him in his own ways. 2022: Dean's date Characters: Dean de Rais Warnings: Detailed description of paranoia and social anxiety, suggested pedophilia, mentions of addictions, bodily fluid and suicide. NOTES: I DO NOT CONDONE PEDOPHILIA. IF YOU'RE A NON-OFFENDING PEDOPHILE PLEASE KNOW THERE'S HELP AVAILABLE. THIS STORY HAPPENS TO INVOLVE A CHARACTER THAT OFFENDS LATER IN THE STORY DUE TO HIS OWN INABILITY TO SEEK HELP. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A DISPLAY OF WHAT NOT TO BE(COME). The surroundings were crowded by noise. The noises were incomprehensible to Dean at that current moment, yet he knew they were the noises of people, individuals, living breathing people, with their own complicated life just like him. The sound of laughter rang through his ears like bells, which made him flinch and lower himself in the seat he had been sat on for about 15 minutes now, alone. This was his own fault, he rushed his arrival there. His vision now blurred, he focused on his fingers tapping onto the empty clothed table, he would try to calm his nerves, he could feel his mind distort the world around him. He could only stare at his fingers, the only thing properly in sight for him, softly lit by the candle set in the middle of the table. He felt watched, laughed at. Nobody was looking at him, but he knew they were glaring as he wasn't looking. He subconsciously tapped harder on the table, it just proved his point. They were staring at him, everyone was. He could only see the couple from the table beside him from the corner of his eye giving him a glance, yet he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He wasn't being appropriate, clearly he was doing something wrong, was it the tapping? He would pull his hand off the table so impulsively, it looked unnatural. He placed it on the sides of his seat to grip it as if his life would depend on it. He could feel more eyes on him, he was making everything worse. His every move made people sickened by him, they knew he did not belong there. He could feel sweat forming all over his face, which would be caused by the fact it felt as if the thermostat was turned way up, but he knew this was his body heating up as a response to his growing stress. He could feel the anxiety crawl into his head, becoming more and more unbearable. "Hi there, you're Dean, right?" Dean flinched just to look up at the stranger as if he saw a ghost, only now realizing how stupid he must look with his blouse now vaguely marked with sweat and his hands trembling as if he had been freezing. He would forcefully smile towards the woman now right in front of him, before realizing it may make him look creepy. She was a kind looking girl, but he felt that his behaviour made her uncomfortable. He would look down embarrassed, speaking up by mumbling a barely audible "Yes.." Which was muttered in shame. She laughed at him. It was awkward, but she seemed to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. Although the laughing gave him a knot in his throat, he tried to gather himself to not ruin the date that was planned for the evening. But it would leave them with an awkward silence while Dean was far too busy figuring out what was appropriate to ask and what wasn't, however the woman he had already forgotten the name of cut him to the chase "So.. What do you do?" He would freeze a bit, his previous anxieties now turning towards this one girl. It was not going well at all, it felt as if he was choking on his words. He barely managed to let out a mumble that would admit to something he was very ashamed of "Nothing.." The girl laughed, clearly misunderstanding it as him simply being nervous and not knowing what she meant "I meant like a job.." Dean lowered his head, looking up at her with a pained look, cringing at his own state of being "... Nothing.. My parents lend me their money" ".. Oh, right." She immediately seemed disinterested hearing he was worse than she thought, Dean knew he could never come across as the charmingly shy individual he seemed to be online, reality was much harder on him. He knew he couldn't be the perfect version of himself. He wasn't even sure why he even came here to begin with The silence ate away at him. Women were disgusted by him, he knew he was nothing more but a loser in their perspective, anyone's perspective. a pathetic no good freak, a pathetic man with nothing to show. The longer this silence went on, the more his body grew tense, his hands we're gripping the clothed seat as his eyes darted all over. This nervousness grew so severe that he snapped, speaking up in an uncomfortably loud manner "I'm not a loser, I swear! In fact, I got a lot of experience with girls. Mostly primary school girls of course!" His eyes widened as the moment he realized what he just said, peeping out and shaking his head in distress to correct himself "No I mean! My only friends are, uhm, were primary school girls! When I was in primary school too! I was a child.. And I haven't had a friend since, so it's nothing weird, I just clearly get along better with little girls!" The more he spoke, the worse it got. He had not even eaten yet, however it felt as if he could throw up. The woman that was sat across him just stared at him in disbelief, not even saying a word. There was a look of discomfort written across her face. And he knew it. He knew that kind of disgusted look more than enough. And he just desperately went on, a decision he regretted, yet he couldn't stop himself from speaking "Actually I am depressed, and I fantasize about little girls all the time because I never got close to a girl my age before, but I think all that is gross, I am just gross, aren't I? Isn't that funny? I actually drink and smoke and I think I might actually drink myself into a coma with how things are going" He laughed, desperate. He just wished someone stopped him. All he could do was watch the horror grow in her eyes, and painfully feel the eyes of more and more people crawl up his back. But he just couldn't stop. He kept going. "I live at a motel! I can't afford an apartment because I waste my parent's money on my addictions. Maybe it would be better if I just killed myself tonight, it isn't like anyone would care! I'm just a nothing and a pervert and.. I... Uh.." He finally got himself to quit talking as the overwhelming feeling of being watched was worse than the state his desperate rambles got him into. People were clearly staring, he made a scene before he even truly realized he was doing. Yet he was now left with the consequences, his eyes darted around, just to see every single person that could've heard him staring directly at him with looks of concern and disgust. He couldn't take it, the girl may have said something, but his vision was twirling and he could hear nothing more but a continuous peep. He had to leave. Now. He just had to leave. He messed up, bad. Before he knew what he was even doing, he had fled the restaurant he was sat at what seemed like only a second ago. Barely conscious of his decisions, he just ran. He only started to calm down again when he collapsed onto his familiar motel rooms floor, unsure on how he even unlocked the door, or how he even got there. He would find himself covered in his bodily fluids all over. His snot and tears had soaked his face, and sweat and puke had found itself spread all over his blouse. He curled up, his breathing heavy as he curled onto the floor he collapsed onto just a moment prior. All he could do was try to scream and sob, but any noise he could possibly make at that moment would be choked up in tears. He knew this would happen. He was foolish to try and be anything other than a shut-in again, why did he even keep trying? He would grab his phone in a panicked grip of his hand, rushing to block the girl's number with trembling fingers. 2022: Hunt's birthday Characters: Hunt Churchill, Clarence Warnings: Aftermath of abuse, mention of death of a parent and a comment about weight. NOTES: NOT ACCURATE TO CURRENT STORY, DOES STILL ALIGN WITH CHARACTERS AROUND THEIR YOUNG ADULTHOOD. It had been one of the longest nights of his life, Hunt was trying to make his way home through his dazed state of mind. His feet were cold from the now soaked shoes that were caused by the pouring rain. He was never quite the fan of his birthday, but he never expected turning eighteen would begin quite like this. He knew his father loved him, atleast he would like to think so. But this idea of love would be proven to be false over and over, as naive as Hunt really was, he knew his father wouldn't be like this if he saw him like his own son. He would collapse as his legs failed to carry him further, The sharp pain from his bruises ran through his skin like a burning fire. He was not sure if he could make it home this night. He wished he could've been tougher, he felt as if he was dissapointing his father no matter what he did. He wished he was a strong hunter like his father was, a strong political figure everyone seemed to look up to. he knew his father wanted him to be a good hunter, but today he messed it all up. Hunt knew how to aim and he would rarely miss cans even from a distance away, but he couldn't take an animal's life like his father always did. And that was something that made him pay. He would spend his time on the rough sidewalk, the rain muffled the lacking noise that would surround him, it was too early for people to be out and busy. He wished to be sleeping just like everyone else would be at this moment. In desperation, he couldn't help but begin to sob. He barely felt a thing, the emotions were too overwhelming and his thoughts would be something he could not keep track of through his pain. All he could do was clutch himself close and curl up. He trembled, he could not quite get a hold of where he really was, or what was happening. Time went so slow. But after what seemed like forever of this cold blurred state of mind, he started to finally feel more comfortable. He was not quite sure what happened, but eventually he realized the noise of the rain had quit drumming down on his ear, and he felt yet a little bit warmer again. He got the energy together to look up, unsure of what could have caused this sudden sense of comfort. just to see he was covered from the rain by an umbrella. he had to turn his head through a burning pain to see who it belonged to, and he would be greeted by a man who seemed to be just a tad older than him. His hair was tinted purple, and his rectangle glasses were fogged up by the rain. But his hazel brown eyes had a way to look reassuring even through the blur of the glass. "God you must be cold, come here." Before Hunt knew what was going on he was wrapped in a warm coat which the man had on seconds earlier, just to be pulled into this stranger's arms a moment later. As much as he logically knew he should have long gotten away from this man, he could not help but stay. He needed the affection, and he was too exhausted to really struggle. All he could do was watch how he soaked his shirt, but he simply did not seem to mind. "What's your name?.." Hunt wanted to respond so badly to this question, but he wasn't quite able to keep track of his words, and the nervousness made his throat knot up. He would proceed to stay quiet, but after a moment of silence, the man spoke up once more "Well that's okay! You don't have to talk." His understanding felt warm, he did not feel like he was bothering him much. Hunt couldn't help but try and come closer to get more comfort out of the situation, like nothing was going on, the fellow had continued the conversation, not really minding he was speaking to a wall. "My name is Clarence, I think I was named after my great great great grandfather or something, stupid huh? Parents are never original with their names.. They could've named me something cool like erm... Punk or.. Devil or something.. Obviously not but it would've been funny huh?" Hunt couldn't help but giggle, he still felt awful. But Clarence's rambling was distracting enough to make him feel better. Hunt got the courage together to mumble something once Clarence was done with the rambling, and would proceed to mutter out "Hunt", He wanted to introduce himself properly, but this was all he mustered to say. Clarence simply chuckled in response, finding this to be a bit humorous "Are your parents hunters or something?" Hunt was a bit ashamed to nod yes, he knew damn well his father named him after his hobby. But thinking of it, it was a bit comedic. He even laughed a little about it himself "Well then we both have a bit of a stupid name huh? We seem to have something in common. Isn't that nice?" Clarence reassured, it made him smile. It felt as if he was talking to an old friend. They would exchange eye contact, before Clarence continued "Hey, anywhere you want to go? I can carry you." Hunt was unsure what to respond, he did not quite want to go home. But before he could think of a verbal response his body had long responded in a shake of the head. Clarence would think a while for an alternative, before making another attempt to get them out the rain. "Well, what would you like to do most?". Hunt could not help himself but think of his usual birthdays, every year his mother would bake a cake together with him, and they would eat it before his father would be home. But this would be the first year without that luxury. His mother had died recently, and it especially hurt on a day like this. Without quite knowing why, he had mumbled out "Birthday." towards Clarence. He did not know how to word it, but he just really wanted to celebrate his birthday somewhat happily. He was not sure how Clarence would respond at his vagueness, but once more it would be understanding. As if he read his mind "Oh! It's your birthday? Well it isn't if we don't have cake is it?.. I don't really have an oven, or the money... Uhh.. But we can see what we can get for like 5 bucks at the gas station?" He just smiled. It wasn't the luxury Hunt would be used to compared to his kitchen stuffed with food and baking materials, but he knew that Clarence's company would be enough to make it feel much better then the riches he was used to. Before he knew it, Clarence had already decided, and shoved the umbrella into his trembling hands, which he would sloppily keep an hold on. Just for him to get picked right up like it was nothing, he barely had to stand, Clarence's arm would support him more then enough, only making him have to focus a little on his balance. "I take that smile as a yes! Wow you are light, if we don't get something high calorie for you I won't forgive myself." Hunt could not help but laugh, he had been nothing but giggly around Clarence. It was almost embarrassing. But he knew his day would be much better by this stranger's kindness. He got butterflies in his stomach just thinking about it. 2022: Hunt's study Characters: Hunt Churchill, Clarence Warnings: Suggested domestic abuse, anxiety. NOTES: NOT ACCURATE TO CURRENT STORY, DOES STILL ALIGN WITH CHARACTERS AROUND THEIR YOUNG ADULTHOOD. SOMETHING OF A SEQUEL TO HUNT'S BIRTHDAY. (THEREFORE PLACED BENEATH IT) It was hard to keep a hold on the pencil in his hand. Hunt's hand trembled as all his vision could do was lose its focus everytime he tried to regain it, even blinking had gotten far too heavy of a chore to handle. He quite regularly had moments like this, out of nowhere he would have severe waves of fear and panic. It was something he was taught to hide, surprisingly he had never gotten caught having a moment like this within class. All he could do was watch the clock tick by, something his mind could barely focus on. Time seemed incomprehensible to him at this current moment. Fortunately, the school bell rang, the sound barely made it through his fogged mind. Out of muscle memory, he would pack his bag with his books and pencils. Before mindlessly leaving the class at a quick pace. He knew it would be break right now, which gave him the opportunity to calm down from this sudden overwhelming feeling of danger. The only place he knew where to go was straight to outside, Where he would instantly go the school's back door. He always went there to cool down, the back door was blocked by rust and the lock seemed impossible to fix. The stairs leading up to it had grown weeds between the limited amount of dirt through the gaps. It was an unappealing entrance for many reasons, but this made it perfectly isolated for Hunt. He sat down behind the bit of wall that the staircase had beside it. Sandwiching him between the cool stones that touched his back, and the school wall that was only a bit further away. Covering him under a reassuringly dark shadow. He would allow himself to cry in the newfound safety of this spot he always seemed to return to. Chesterfield was far too intimidating to him, he was so used to the loneliness the island with his family's name had to offer. But unlike the island, the town of Chesterfield was full of people, including horrible ones. He just felt unsafe in this environment, but it was the only place he could do his studies, so he toughed up. Soon after he finally got to comfort himself he got interrupted by a sudden "Pssst, Huntie." from above him, startling him enough to make him let out a small scream in fear and quickly turn to look at who it was, his eyes widened by the shock, and still shaking from his previous panic. It fortunately was a face he knew all too well, he could recognize his smile from miles away. But this smile faded into a worried look instantly "Oh fuck, I really scared you.. I didn't mean to Hunt.." Clarence had hopped down from the stair wall and sat right by it, looking around with the corners of his eyes before smiling reassuringly once more, opening his arms for him "There's no cameras or anything here.. So nothing to be embarrassed of! Just you and me, okay?" Hunt got a tad red, it was almost like he knew he would overthink about such things. And his lack of judgement or further questions truly made him feel secure. His mind cooled down already by looking at his sweet smile, he could now feel how stupid it must've looked to him. His lip was trembling and his cheeks were soaked. But he knew Clarence wouldn't mind that. Without all too much doubt, he had crawled over just to get wrapped in Clarence's arms. He had a strong grip, one that offered him a comfortable pressure on his body. Clarence was much stronger compared to himself, but he treated Hunt so gently that he never felt threatened. His face got warm as it got buried by his gentle hand, leaving his cheek protectively cuddling against his chest. Clarence's touch made him feel so small and vulnerable, more than how he felt in his usual day to day life. But with Clarence, he felt protected along with it. The silence got interrupted by Clarence once more, as he had begun to stroke Hunt's head to offer him the comfort he needed ".. Was it just me or is there something else going on? That's probably too personal to ask but.. I am worried Hunt. Everytime I see you you just seem to be... Terrified." He knew he was right, it was hard to admit that his situation at home was a bad one. But he knew he couldn't lie to Clarence. He already had to keep secret that he was part of the Churchill family, he could not even think of lying to him even more. "My...." He took a moment to sob, already regretting starting the reply. But Clarence was patient with him, it took a few minutes till he responded. "... Dad... My dad is uh... Not.. Nice.. To me.." Clarence looked concerned, responding too soon "Your dad?... How about your mom?" These words made Hunt just break down crying, instinctively Clarence would hold him tight. "Sorry, sorry sorry sorry, Shit... Shh shh.. Hunt I am sorry.. Let it out Huntie, I am sorry." He never apologized this much, he really did feel like his emotions truly mattered for once. He would not reassure that it was okay like he usually would, for once he felt he was allowed to be upset. After a few minutes the bell rang once more, far too quick for comfort. "Oh, that's for your lesson right? You can't go like this." Clarence had pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his snot and tears, cuddling him closer one last time before slowly letting go. Hunt really did not feel ready to go to his lesson, and it seemed like Clarence knew that. He would take a hold of his hands, and upon looking at him, their eyes happened to meet and stare at one another. "If you want to run away, you can stay with me.. I have three kids to take care of but I wouldn't mind having a fourth.." He let out a soft laugh "Just kidding.. But I wouldn't mind giving you a place to stay Huntie, I have a free room. Please keep that in mind." Hunt couldn't help but giggle at his joke, Clarence's lame sense of humor always made him happier, and with this new opportunity on his mind he felt much better compared to a moment before. "Look, you're smiling again, that's all I needed!" Clarence gave him a proud smile in return, and one more quick hug. "Okay run off you! Class is important. I'll pick you up after school, okay?" Hunt couldn't help but smile and nod. He got up with a much better thought on his mind. Clarence and Hunt would separate with a wave as he left for his class. The warmth of Clarence's hand left on his own would make him feel a bit dreamy, but not out of fear. Knowing that they would meet again in a few hours, he did not quite mind saying goodbye.